Life of Loretta

Monty Python veteran John Cleese has been planning a stage production of Life of Brian, and several American actors advised him to cut the “Loretta scene.” Cleese said he had “no intention” of cutting the scene, which involves the Grumpy People’s Front of Judea:

JUDITH: (Sue Jones-Davies): I do feel, Reg (John Cleese) that any anti-imperialist group like ours must reflect such a divergence of interests within its power-base.

REG: Agreed. Francis? (Michael Palin)

FRANCIS: Yeah. I think Judith’s point of view is very valid, Reg, provided the movement never forgets that it is the inalienable right of every man . . .

STAN (Eric Idle): Or woman. . .

FRANCIS: Or woman . . . to rid himself. .  .

STAN: Or herself.

FRANCIS: Or herself.

REG: Agreed.

FRANCIS: Thank you, brother.

STAN: Or sister.

FRANCIS: Or sister. Where was I?

REG: I think you’d finished.

FRANCIS: Oh right.

REG: Furthermore, it is the birthright of every man . . .

STAN: Or woman.

REG: Why don’t you shut up about women, Stan. You’re putting us off.

STAN: Women have a perfect right to play a part in our movement, Reg.

FRANCIS: Why are you always on about women, Stan?

STAN: I want to be one.

REG: What?

STAN: I want to be a woman. From now on, I want you all to call me “Loretta.”

REG: What?

STAN: It’s my right as a man.

JUDITH: Well, why do you want to be Loretta, Stan?

STAN:  I want to have babies.

REG: You want to have babies?!

STAN: It’s every man’s right to have babies if he wants them.

REG: But. . . you can’t have babies.

STAN: Don’t you oppress me.

REG: I’m not oppressing you, Stan. You haven’t got a womb! Where’s the fetus going to gestate?! You going to keep it in a box?!

JUDITH: Here! I’ve got an idea. Suppose you agree that he can’t actually have babies, not having a womb, which is nobody’s fault, not even the Romans, but that he can have the right to have babies.

FRANCIS: Good idea, Judith. We shall fight the oppressors for your right to have babies, brother. Sister. Sorry.

REG: What’s the point?

FRANCIS: What?

REG: What’s the point of fighting for his right to have babies when he can’t have babies?!

FRANCIS: It is symbolic of our struggle against oppression.

REG: Symbolic of his struggle against reality.

As Bruce Bawer explains, the current trans movement is a “revolution against reality itself.” Hats off to John Cleese for resisting the Grumpy Woke Front of America.

STEVE adds: Add this scene to Blazing Saddles as something you can’t show on a college campus without risking expulsion.